I have a confession: I am a feminist.
And the reason I'm writing this post is in response to an article that particularly riled me. I buy
Company Magazine, for me it contains things that interest me and articles I find informative and cute clothes I might want to buy. It also contains a column each month from
Jameela Jamil, a TV presenter in the UK - she shares her thoughts on various topics and generally - I find them pretty grating and somewhat condescending. This month however, I nearly put the entire issue in the bin before I'd even gotten to the middle.
Jameela's chosen topic this month was Feminism, entitled "I. Am. Woman." Here's a snippet:
"The F-word. It's cropped up a lot recently. But when asked if I am a feminist, I can't help but hesitate. This word that once empowered women has developed something of a bad rep of late. It seems it's now associated with aggression, bitterness and a hatred of men. And people are exhausted by the concept. Me included."
Here's the thing, there will
always be a small faction of a particular movement that give the rest of those on that side of the cause, a bad name. Radical religious fundamentalists (of all faiths), liberals, straight edge kids, laywers, teachers and politicians - there will always be those who are fighting for a cause or belief system who, you may feel, take it too far.
"As far as I can make out, what started as a fight for equality has, in some areas, become a movement to regin supreme, therefore denouncing the concept of equality all together. Girl power came about and suddenly girl gangs were emerging, women were becoming androgynous and, at times, masculine (remember ladettes?). And with the invention of - I'll just say it - the vibrator, men were becoming redundant in our worlds. We wanted to be as respected as men, we almost wanted to BE men.
Don't get me wrong, I believe in equal rights. Working in the media I am CONSTANTLY having to break out of the pigeon-holes in this male dominated industry keeps trying to corner me into. I'm 'ditsy in my short skirt, into fun, fashion and flirting' BLAH BLAH BLAH. I wish people could accept that my head can hold hair, make-up AND a brain. Nonetheless, I refuse to shun my femininity.
I celebrate my vulnerability and consider my ability to access my emotions as strength, not weakness. So many women spend so much of time trying to hide their 'weaknesses', that they are losing their ability to utilise their true strengths.
I think the film Bridesmaids summed it up perfectly. It wasn't a step for womankind - it was a leap. It illustrated beautifully that we are funny, raw, flawed and fierce. It's time to remember how special we are and if that's what feminism truly is, then, dammit! Sign me up!"
Here's my beef, and other's may disagree with me - but that's not what feminism is about (to me). I believe in equality - are we there yet? No, not by a long shot. But do I agree with Jameela that feminism is ugly? At times, certainly. But for me - feminism is entirely subjective and it's our ability to make choices to suit us that make us equal. Rather than to have our choices made for us.
I grew up in a family with a strong matriarchal influence. My Mum was the boss and my Dad respects and loves her enough to chill out in the background. Maybe it's an Irish family thing but my Nana Burke (my Dad's mother) was very much a strong influence, as her husband died young and she was left to raise 5 children. My mother and grandmothers made choices that suited them and their families. My Nana Moloney was the first woman in Ireland to get a pharmaceutical degree and ran two of her own businesses.
My mum trained as a Nurse before she had kids, then when my parents moved to England - they ran pubs so they would be at home to look after us but also build their own business. That's the feminism I grew up with.
To the woman who makes the decision to stay at home and raise her children, that is feminism - she is making the choice because she can. Alternatively, she could choose to return to work.
To the woman who becomes a glamour model - because she can and is not forced into it. That may not be something I agree with as I feel that women shouldn't have to take their clothes of in order to gain celebrity/money/etc but if it's genuinely a decision she has made - why shouldn't she do it?
My point is, if a woman or girl wants to be loud mouthed, brash, bitter, aggressive, light hearted, masculine, hairy, trimmed, uni-browed or whatever - she is perfectly within her rights to do so as this is what the feminist movement has been able to afford her - choice and a voice.
I am a feminist because I believe that women should be treated equally and with respect. We are sisters, daughters, mothers, friends, girlfriends. We are also Doctors, politicians, retail assistants, mechanics, soldiers, cleaners, designers, administrators and so much more.
It can be very difficult to be a woman or girl in a world that places great value on how you look as opposed to what you know and I don't think that people - not just women, will have true equality until we move to a culture where all diversity is accepted and celebrated not just gender, but sexuality, race, religion, colour etc.
That being said, if you do feel like getting angry - I highly suggest you read
The Equality Illusion by Kat Banyard. It's thoroughly depressing and entirely eye opening all at the same time.
I would like to end by saying that Feminism is a multi-faceted entity with so many different and wonderful ideologies, to say that feminism is only about choice is extremely limiting but that's one of the main things, for me! I could sit here all day and talk about it but we'll leave it for another day!
